My Experience of Adopting a Girl Child

We have always had more women at home historically through our ages – which has helped in many different ways – be it discipline at house – respect shown to other women – better financial control and governance – societal acceptance etc amongst other things. My late Great Grand Father, my late Grand Father and My Father (retd Defence employee) have lived and continue to live in these philosophies and human values. I was born and have been raised in such an environment and I, therefore, naturally, inherit some of those qualities.

We first applied for adoption in the H1 of 2011 (that was before we had any kids) and a study was conducted by an appointed agency which hopelessly rejected our application citing many reasons – some of which were valid and but most were non-sense in my view. I worked upon many things from those days and in the last 7 years or so (by which time we have 2 kids, as we thought it was cruel to deny a woman, the experience of going through Pregnancy Cycle) have addressed and subsequently enhanced the logistical, logical, financial, societal, environmental aspects that are generally verified during an AHSR (Adoption Home Study Report). In 2015, the current NDA government issued new guidelines for adoption with simpler, common sense, juristically driven procedures than the old rotten paper based corrupted systems of the past, some of which did not allow legally adopting a child if you already have kids.

All of this, is now central positioned and monitored through CARA (Central Adoption Resource Agency: http://cara.nic.in) – thanks to Shri Maneka Gandhi for leading this drive in such a short space of time. It took us less than 90 days to complete all the formalities from the application stage to bringing our bundle of joy, home – in a thorough legal route with ZERO element of corruption at any step along the way.

Let me take you through the various stages and our experience in each phase.

1)      Registration on CARA website http://cara.nic.in/

This was straight forward and took less than 20 minutes to us. Please select the gender of the prospective kid and the age group – you can change the age group at a later point as well post certain approvals

2)      After registration you will be asked to upload mandatory documents (within a few weeks of registration getting approved) – such as :-

a.       Current family photograph/ Photograph of person adopting a child

b.      Upload PAN Card No. of the parents

c.       Birth certificate/Proof date of birth of the parents (upload Birth Certificate of both the applicants) – be noted the sum of PAPs age has a tolerance limitation. That is for example if father and mother are both in late 40’s, it may not be possible to adopt.

d.      Proof of residence (adhaar card/ voter card/ passport/current electricity bill/telephone bill etc)

e.      Proof of income of last year (salary slip/income certificate issued by Govt. Department/income tax return)

f.        Certificate from a certified medical practitioner (CMO preferably) certifying that the PAPs do not suffer from any chronic, contagious or fatal disease and they are fit to adopt (upload Medical Certificate of both the applicants and existing kids if any)

g.       Marriage certificate/Divorce Decree/Death certificate of spouse whichever is applicable – Single male is not eligible to adopt a girl child

h.      Passport size Photographs (JPEG format) of both PAPs (Ensure this one is latest – better to get new ones to avoid issues later)

Most of these documents we had with us already except the medical certificate from CMO. We first chose to go to many private hospitals and clinics (thinking that a Govt Hospital would not treat us professionally) and none of the private hospitals were willing to help us although they could have (as we later got to know). We were then asked (by the CARA support team) to visit a district controlled local Ward Hospital. So, we went to the Yelahanka (our Ward) Govt Hospital and met the CMO (Chief Medical Hospital) who conducted various tests for over 2 weeks and finally gave the fitness certificate for all 4 of us (me, wife and 2 kids). Please keep in mind that a fitness certificate from a CMO is valid for 12 months ONLY from the date of certifying. We then uploaded all these documents on the CARA website and within a matter of hours it was accepted and approved.

3)      Application and AHSR - Choose the nearest or your preferred adoption agency during the application stage

You can chose any SAA (Specialized Adoption Agency) listed on the CARA website (Only these are registered and the others which do not appear here cannot or is not legally allowed to conduct adoption measures). We chose one of the many 100s of options that were listed. The SAA got immediately appointed. We were then asked to visit the SAA and submit the above mentioned documents both in original and attested (from a Notary) format. Originals were returned. We paid INR 6000/- (through Demand Draft) – as specified on CARA. Post this; the SAA gave us 3 dates to choose from – for the Formal AHSR to be conducted. They (certified Social Workers or qualified MSW – Masters in Social Work) visited our house on the selected dates and inspected the house, its size, facilities, locality, spoke to our family, kids, us, neighbors and checked other little things. We were asked to justify the logic and reason behind the move to adopt a girl child especially that in our case, we already had kids and that one of them was a girl – as they made notes of everything we said and our body language. Eventually after 3 days, we go to know that the SAA was convinced and approved the AHSR – I received an SMS, Email and a Phone call. They sent out a recommendation to CARA to proceed with the next stage.

4)      We were now asked to select up to 3 preferred states in India from where we were willing to adopt the child. Please note that these 3 states selection is only for putting you on a waiting list – you can still choose to adopt a child from anywhere in India. So, post this, we were put on a waiting list on each of the 3 chosen states. I was absolutely startled to know that the number of people in that list was so small (I can’t reveal that info as it is confidential) and further the SAA confirmed that list of people who already have kids and wanting to adopt a girl child was zero and we were the first ones (in 2 of the 3 chosen states) – that was both goose bumping yet disappointing at the same time to me. Many Parents adopt illegally not aware of the legal procedures. Most illegal adoptions cases eventually regret having done it that way.

5)      When your turn arrives – you will be shown 3 kids each from each of the 3 chosen states and you MUST select one of them – if not, your registration as a PAP will become invalid

6)      To address the concern of PAPs going childless, CARA has introduced an option called “Immediate Placement” – every Friday at 11 AM, all the available, adoptable kids across India are shown to all registered PAPs, you can select your preferred child from that list ASAP (this can be compared to Tatkal ticket booking system) and reserve the child by clicking on the relevant options.

7)      Once you reserved a child, you will be given 20 days to contact the SAA (and this is not the one that conducted AHSR), this is the one that has the selected child under its custody. And this could be anywhere in India. In our case, we first reserved a child in Assam (the child was a Muslim) and we were keen to bring the child home as we don’t care a bit about religion – I even booked flight tickets and went all the way – but the SAA in Assam suggested to think over and gave other legal details which forced me to come back - that was a disappointing week for me. We then reserved another child (after the 20 days time had auto-elapsed). This one was in Ajmer, Rajasthan. Unfortunately after reserving the child, we were told that she was admitted in hospital with severe health problems and further classified the child as not eligible for adoption. This was absolutely demotivating to me and I could not sleep well for many days. And then came on a fine Friday morning when I had almost forgotten that it was Friday, an early morning dream. My Grand Father said in the dream, today is a good day and you will do it. At first, I did not understand but a moment later it struck me. I woke up early, cancelled a meeting and a training session – I know that it caused inconvenience to a few people but I was adamant on my priorities. At 11 AM, like a hawk waiting for its prey, I logged in and saw there were more than 35 little angels in the selected age group and like I married my wife (the first one I saw – arranged marriage FYI), I just reserved the first kid on that list without going through the kid’s profile, health status, family background (if any) etc. Basically I did not want to choose – because in choice there is a problem – which is rejection and I hate that word.

8)      I then contacted the SAA which was in Belagavi this time – remember we have 20 days to complete the formalities

9)      The SAA is under the jurisdiction of BCC and has further documentation requirements apart from the ones uploaded on CARA – these documents can vary depending on the SAA and its jurisdiction. And these were as follows in our case –

a.       3 Recommendations from People in professional services – Doctors, Lawyers, Notary, Registered Contractors, CA, CS, Bank Managers, Gazzetted Officers etc

b.      3 Recommendations from eminent People – MP, MLA, Corporators, Heads, University Professors etc

c.       3 Recommendations from Self Employed Business people, Directors, Chairman etc

d.      Medical certificate – Use the earlier one if it is still valid

e.      Educational qualifications of both PAPs

f.        Last 3 years Bank statements of both PAPs – attested by Bank’s Branch Manager

g.       Details for Fixed Deposits, Equities, Shares, F&Os, Bonds, PF statements etc – attested by banks

h.      House Plan and the latest tax paid for that house – if own house otherwise this is not applicable

i.         Undertaking on a stamp paper from a blood relative (who is not very older compared to PAPs) – that they are willing to and take the responsibility and ownership of raising the child in case of any mishaps to PAPs

j.        Consent on a stamp paper from the other 2 kids – they will also obtain a verbal consent and video record it

k.       Blank Stamp paper for pre-adoption foster care

l.         And many other easy-to-produce documents

We were asked to get all these documents officially attested through a Notary along with all those ones submitted to CARA – our documents weighed almost 4KGs J

10)   After accumulating all the above documents, the SAA will fix a date for interview over phone or in person – I chose to go in person to better converse – they approved our selection instantly

11)   The SAA will further explain the jurisdictional and CARA guidelines and their consequences to PAPs

12)   Post this, the SAA will confirm dates for paper work

13)   A Demand Draft of INR 40,000/- is to paid to the SAA for having raised the kid thus far

14)   We were asked to plan a 5 day trip with kids – on the given dates

15)   First day was more sort of an induction – getting to know the child – its likes and dislikes, habits etc and we being introduced to the kid

16)   Second day – Lawyer gets the paper work done and files a petition in the local court with the documents – this take up to 12 hours – went well past midnight for us

17)   On the 3^rd day, FIR details is presented to us - if one was raised at the time the kid was surrendered or abandoned – if not, then an FIR will be raised by the SAA – this one takes its own time but will be done by EOD – in the Police Station.

18)   On the 4^th day, Affidavit between the PAPs and the SAA – valid for 2 months – that if the child has any issues – the SAA has full rights on the custody of the child – post the 2 month period, the document becomes invalid and PAPs become defacto custodians

19)   On the 5^th Day, All these 10 KG documents along with their originals are to be submitted to the Judge on the appointment date. The kid is now officially handed over to PAPs after a little ceremony and Oath taking in front of the magistrate

20)   The CARA timeline for the court is 2 months – they cannot take more time as this is not a criminal case that you take your own sweet time – in most cases the Judge approves in the very first take

21)   After the judgement, the PAPs will receive through Speed Post, all of the documents, Originals, Acknowledgements, Adoption Decree, Court Judgement, Date of Birth certificate of the child with the PAPs names as the legal parents with full custody of the child – the court will also appoint a regional SAA to conduct a bi-annual HSR to ensure the child is being raised in the appropriate manners as prescribed by the Indian Constitution and the CARA guidelines.

My respect for the Indian system has gone higher – it is amazing that everything in the system is placed in order and with absolute regard. Please my friends, always believe in the system, it will never ever fail you.

A home with more women in it, will always blossom and will let others blossom.

Thanks - Vijay, Manoja, Vanita, Hema, Hem Chandra.